yesterday the whole fam took an impromptu afternoon walk.

it was really, really warm. for november. in connecticut. it was like 55 degrees and muggy.

and we ended up at the local elementary school – a much needed pit stop for the five point harnessed children who needed an escape and some energy burn stat. there are only so many leaves and acorns and rocks from along the way you can offer up before they just get flat out pissed. well, i should say harper does. because honestly, jackson could ride for two months straight in the jogging stroller if he had random things to hold (he’s totally obsessed with holding things… like chapstick) and snacks. harper, notsomuch. she needs change and stimulation and movement like every seven minutes.

so, yeah. we pitstopped at the school’s playscape – right smack dab in the middle of an after-school program; lots of – totally crazy - first through fourth graders racing like bats out of hell around the now seemingly super small city of plastic.

a little boy – 8 ish – raced past me. he had a tail. like, a real deal rat tail. a little girl with chubby cheeks and a crazy funky bowl cut nearly side swiped harper as she flung herself down the twirly slide.

good lord. what year is it? because i’m 120% certain i had both a tail and a bowl cut. in 1990.

so the kid-watching began. and all those feelings of being a third grader came back. oh shit were those some hard years. awkward. just so awkward and so unsure and so…out of body like.

i was tall and my cheeks were really, really round. my teeth were at that round and big and still trying to move to their forever places stage. i had a loyd christmas bowl cut and a tail. yes, seriously. like a seven inch long wispy, blowing in the breeze below the stacked back of my bowl cut, rat tail.

i don’t remember, but seriously, i hope i thought i was cool. because i’m pretty damn sure no one else did. ok, mom, you don’t count.

back to 2010…and in my kid watching, i happened upon the cutest and absolutely awkwardest of little ones. if she were a cartoon she would look like lucy from peanuts, but with glasses and really thick eyebrows.

she was mostly alone in her play-scape maneuvering and the more i watched the more i realized the closer she was inching to our little posse; almost lurking as she scaled a rock wall and slid slowly down a slide just above my head. and then she was directly in front of me. i smiled and greeted her with an enthusiastic, ‘hi!”.

i was once her. and boy would i have loved for me to stop and take notice.

and the word hi almost hadn’t exited my mouth before her’s began to move.

i’m madeline elizabeth bouchet. i’m eight years old and i’m in the third grade. my favorite class is music. i love to sing and to dance, too.

oh, wow! hi madeline. what a beautiful name. i’m hannah and this is jackson and harper.

i spell my last name b-o-u-c-h-e-t. which is weird because you don’t actually hear the “t”. like, you’d think it should be spelled b-o-c-h-a-y. but it’s not. it’s kind of tricky.  

oh, yes i can see that. very tricky.

awkward silence while madeline swung back and forth on a bar kicking wood chips into harper’s face (by accident, and without noticing).

it sounds like you might be french?

intently thinking…um….no. i’m not french.

more silence while contemplating and swinging…

i’m jewish.

oh. of course.

my hebrew name is…(insert very long and complicated name that i did not catch whatsoever).

my best friend is jacob and his hebrew name is…(insert very long and complicated name that i did not catch whatsoever).

wow, madeline that’s very cool. i think your hebrew name is very strong and very beautiful.

thanks.

at which point she begins to bounce ferociously on the bouncy bridge and nearly flings harper into the stratosphere. and then as unexpectedly and randomly as she appeared she sheepishly half runs, half walks away; blending into a sea of four foot tall winter coats.

and for some reason madeline elizabeth bouchet has stuck with me. i thought about her as i was falling asleep last night. i thought about her again tonight.

i hope when my kids are eight years old and in the third grade they will have the kind of confidence and sense of importance that she does.

keep on keepin on, madeline. the third grade may not be your year. but trust me, in the not too far away future there will be decades of years that are.