for a brief moment this weekend i thought my days on earth had come to end.
you see, my scarf got in a tussle with a leaf blower and almost met it’s demise.

and i, unfortunately, was on the receiving noosed-neck end of the scarf.

yes, i almost strangled myself via a nice navy blue sparkly scarf and a 240 hp leaf blower. and i’m pretty sure if there was a contest for the most undignified, freakish and totally hysterical way to bite it, that would be it.

justin had been/has been raking, blowing and hauling to the curb trillions of leaves. it’s one of those grown up things you have to do – i guess? – and luckily for us our town does come by with a massive truck and suck them up and away. so, could be a lot worse i suppose.

as i took over the 1/17 of the yard that was left i heard my neighbor shout to justin, ” about time you put that woman of yours to work!”. um, right. moving along…

so of course i was putting in the extra effort. i’ll show him that i, too, can do physical labor with the best of them.

and what better way to show him how strong and capable i am then, totally unaware, letting the tassel from my scarf get sucked into the motor of the leaf blower, wrapping up and around it in .78 seconds flat and cinching so tightly around my jugular that i drop to the ground mouthing hail marys. ok, well if i knew what a hail mary was and how to say it, that would have been the first thing i’d have done.

grappling for the scarf and pulling with all my might to get some slack – and some air – all i could think about was what if i seriously just died right here. in my front yard. strangulation by scarf by way of leaf blower. i can just see the obituary now.

so, the lesson here is simple. when your neighbor gives your husband a dig about his “woman” your best bet is to go after him directly. none of this oh yeah, i’ll show you with my fancy leaf blower crap.

that and i suppose, when using machines with exposed motors keep the dangling accessories to a minimum.

i’m thinking about sending this post to craftsman. maybe we’ll get a replacement for our now totally shot blower.

worth a shot, no?

lucky to be alive,

hannah