i was browsing through the blog section on whattoexpect.com where i have been in the “april 2008″ momma/baby group since i was pregnant with jackson. there are lots of ladies who chat and post picures daily (or even by the minute, i swear). it’s a good way to ask questions about your babe, share experiences, gain support, etc. i go on and peruse every few weeks, respond to a few posts, maybe write one myself and just check in on some of the mommas i have grown to “know” the past year and a half.
one of the woman posted this little “dear carolyn:” article to share with us and i thought it was so great that i wanted to post it here:
obviously this hits home with so many people; those who have kiddos and those who don’t. but it’s really amazing how, in my opinion, right on the ball this carolyn chic is.
in my life i have many great friends. i am extremely blessed and thankful for each of them. since i have become a mom (and really since i became pregnant) i have noticed a significant shift in the role i play and my friends play in our friendships. some friends were already married, some had children, others were expecting. many were single and looking for love, or single and avoiding love. some desperately craved marriage, children the white picket fence, some eagerly hacked their bridesmaid dress into a glam tube top and headed to the club. up until the mom thing, i felt i could hang and relate to all of my friends. yes, my left ring finger might have been occupied, but really that was no biggie. when i told my friend emily that i was taking prenatals and trying to get pregnant, she said she felt sick to her stomach. she said she was still digesting the idea that i was married, let alone thinking about pregnancy! let me say now that emily is one of my oldest and dearest friends. i love her with all of my heart; we have the kind of friendship where we can sit on a couch for 12 hours straight and never run out of things to say or stop laughing. she was just in a totally different spot in her life (and still is) and that’s so ok. i would be lying if i said i didn’t miss emily (and other foot loose and fancy free friends) and our pre-marriage/baby friendship. but really this is just a stage of our friendship and the journey that is our lives.
in keeping with the dear carolyn article above, some friends have become a staple in my life as a new mom. whom without, i’m not sure i would survive. many of these friends are in a similar space in their lives; they are moms or wives or if not, they just seem to understand nonetheless. every monday or tuesday i talk to my long time friend lauren on the phone for, well, too long. she is at home with 3 kiddos: 3.5 years, 17 mos and 5 mos. when i’m having an off day or just need to vent, she is there. and let’s be honest, whatever it is i’m going through chances are she’s got me beat. lauren is cool, calm and collected. she is patient and easy going and a great mom. she works harder than most people i know and i greatly look up and respect her choice to care for her kids herself at home. let me also say that lauren looses her shit too. if she didn’t something just wouldn’t be right. her support during my pregnancy and since has been remarkable. we have always been great friends, but haven’t always been in the same “life stage” and consequently the level of in-touchness has waivered over the years; like any friendship. but we are in the here and now together and sharing the teething, pooping, food puraying and general bliss that is motherhood. thank you lauren, i love you so.
