i had almost forgotten completely the feeling of getting a normal night sleep. you know, the kind where you put your head down and wake up 8 hours later without so much as turning over. the kind where you feel like you’ve only been in bed for a few minutes, yet you feel incredible because it’s really been forEVER. i think i may have had those nights early in pregnancy (well somewhere between insane migraine nights and the insane urinating nights, aka 2 months and 8 months); so let’s say october/november 0f ‘07. it’s been a while but my friends, the good night sleep has returned. thank you Jesus.
ironically, it did kinda happen like people said it would, “over night”. we always heard, “yeah, and then one night she just slept through and there was no turning back”. well, they were right; it just took 6 full months instead of like 3. these days jackson is in bed around 7 and get’s up somewhere between 4:30 and 6. if we’re lucky he’ll go back down til 7ish. it’s oh so sweet.
as the sun rises and sets at record speed we find ourselves (in 10 days) at jackson’s 7 month birthday. incredible. to no one’s surprise, he’s growing, growing, growing into a big boy. we’re already in 12- 18 month clothes, albeit for a few brands of 6-9 which make the grade (gap, gymboree). motor skills continue to move right along but seem to have slowed slightly (on the mobility end) from around 4 months when we thought crawling was days away. jackson is up on all fours rocking and does kinda “hop” forward with both legs, but hasn’t figured out the whole opposite leg, opposite arm thing. he is army crawling and hoisting himself in and out of a seated position. he loves to east and i’ve been having so much fun making his baby food. he especially loves carrots and banana. recently he’s re-discovered the doorway jumperoo and how to really jump. it’s hilarious to watch and such a good energy release. jackson finally understands peek-a-boo and we’ve been having a blast hiding and re-appearing. i find myself dancing and singing to him constantly. favorites include, the hokie pokie, you are my sunshine and my sharona (who knows). bath time has quickly become how fast can i kick all of the water out of the tub time. and my most recent favorite: when playing on the floor jackson will make his way over to me and try to climb on my lap. it’s so amazing to get something back after all the months of putting in overtime.
i’ve found myself torn so many times in the last 7 months between what jackson “should” be doing and simply enjoying where he is. our society puts so much pressure on milestones and hitting them; it’s really very sad. many mothers i talk to who have multiple children say they enjoyed the growth of their younger children so much more because they weren’t so worried about how they were keeping up. they knew their kid would crawl and walk and talk, but it didn’t really matter if it was on-par with every other tyke at playgroup. so, i keep reminding myself of this and try like hell to live in the moment and enjoy each day as it whizzes by.
about three weeks ago i was at belding wildlife management area (an amazing off-leash dog park) with jackson in his baby bjorn and our very exercise deprived (sorry bayla) pooch. at one point in the walk two older (and obviously well fed) labs came charging our way, their owner not far behind. at belding most people are canine-obsessed and everyone stops and compares notes about what breed and age their precious pup is. it was no surprise that the owner (later introduced as kim) approached our entourage with wide eyes and a distinct, “ohhhh, a baaaaby!” look about her. as it turned out kim was a new mother of a 6 week old. i should have recognized the spit-up stained t-shirt and baggie sweats, the matted, unwashed hair and dark circles under her eyes, as i looked exactly the same in mid-june. her son was in the hopeless cry-all-day-for-no-apparent-reason stage (see previous journal entry entitled, “cry me a river”). i listed to her talking about her son and how hard it was and how little sleep she had been getting (he was up every hour on the hour since birth- oye vey). i listened to her much needed venting and then added my own advise and hopefully encouraging words of 6 month post-birth wisdom. we shook hands and parted ways as strangers, but strangers with a common bond; motherhood.
since when had i become the relaxed, confident, advise giving mom? what a strange feeling to finally be on the other side of the fence; looking over at someone more green and less experienced and saying, “hang in there, it will get better”, “you can do this”. and it will. and she can. we all have our doubts and the days when we wonder if showering daily will ever again exist. i’m hoping to run into kim again; maybe in a few months. i’m sure when i do her hair will be washed, she might still have spit-up on her shirt, but i bet she’ll be in jeans. she’ll look slightly more rested and she’ll have that subtle confidence that says, i may not have it all figured out but i sure as hell am on my way. yay kim. yay me. yay all of us out there lucky enough to know the dedication, sacrifice, and overwhelming ecstasy of parenthood
