oh lordy, when they say the last few weeks are the hardest they really weren’t kidding. come on little guy, we are SO ready to meet you!

well, the good news is that as of yesterday, i am 3 cm dialated and officially do not have membranes; the poor things were stripped. (this is done to try to get a jump start on labor – no guarantees though) justin and i waddled bayla around the neighborhood (oops, i meant walked) in the darkness last night. we talked about random things, justin’s game, work, the neighbor’s new garage, but we always came back to, “so, when you’re in labor…”, or “what if he has my dad’s ears…”, or “what was the breathing for active labor? he, he, ha or ha, ha heee?”. let’s face it. at this point there’s not a whole lot else that either of us are thinking about then the birth of our son.

i have been having serious cramping and some irregular, slight, contractions. baby has definitely dropped – i am peeing about every 20 minutes (or at least going through the motions) and feel like i have to hold my belly when i walk for fear it will just detach from my body. today is yet another ultra sound to see if the baby has grown any in the last two weeks, and if so, how much. my fear is that he will measure “too big” and i’ll have to have a scheduled c-section. i’m pushing for an induction so i can at least try to have him vaginally. thankfully, my dr. is on the same page.  only time will tell what this little person’s plan is…

i’ve been reflecting a lot lately on the last 39 weeks and truly can’t believe that i am here; dialated, having contractions, a car seat in my car, two bags packed with essential items including my spiffy nursing bras and the outfit our son will wear when he comes home. diapers are washed, clothes are folded, wipes and creames are in place. every day i creap into jackson’s room, open dresser drawers, look into the closet. touch his changing table and imagine him laying on it in just a few days. i talk to him and tell him about his room and how it’s all ready for him.  i go to sleep at night looking at the bassinet kiddy cornered in our room and imagine him there; snug as a bug. it still feels surreal, but it’s a surreal that i have never been so excited for.

keep us in your thoughts and stay tuned for the the next journal entry, the birth story of jackson everett blood.