i was out last night running some errands and bumped into a pregnant woman. she ooo’d and awed over harper, asking tons of questions about her age, what she was “doing”, how she was sleeping, and so on. typical, i’m having a baby and will try to ask you a million and one questions because you have one in your arms and have been, and are, there. which, really, i totally don’t mind. unless it’s over the top, too many questions, too eager a face; you know, the feeling where you know they are mentally categorizing your each and every word to save and re-gurgatate, verbatim, down the road. not many thoughts of her own going on inside that there cranium. that may be harsh but, honestly, it urks me.
so, when she finally asked me her name i froze. as did everything. like the slow motion action scenes from the matrix kinda freeze. in that instant, i knew she was so into me and the info i was giving her that she was going to steal my name. hanging on each and every word like they were dripping chocolate and sour patch kids (ok, that’s my quirky fetish) i could have said, esmeralda or rosebud or rudulph and that would have been it. that would have been her baby’s name.
in the 32ndof a second that my face went blank and i froze, a thousand thoughts ran through my mind. no way in hell was this lady giving birth to a child and naming her harper. so, i lied. and it happened so easily and effortlessly (right about now, justin is having an “i told you so!” moment remembering a time he always brings up when i lied about our dog getting loose to the passersby she ran towards. i am not a lier but once in a great while an in-correct truth may fall out).
i felt my mouth moving and i heard the words, “hannah”. yes, that’s right. her name is hannah. a perfectly lovely palindrome. she grinned and too-enthusiastically nodded as if to say, that’s it! my baby’s name will be hannah!
well good for you. so glad i could be of assistance. now let’s hope she doesn’t look at the name printed on my debit card. that might get awkward – yes i named my daughter after myself, what of it?
i keep hearing of people naming their daughter harper. either on my own or through others. and it makes me queezey every time. i’m sorry, that may sound neurotic or inappropriate, but so be it. it’s the truth. (i also happen to feel this way about jackson, but since it was not at all “different” when we chose it, i don’t have the same feelings. well, they’re still there just not quite so strong, i suppose).
but enough about the silly lady and her baby, hannah.
after that store we went on to ocean state job lot. holy mother do i love that place. yes, i’m aware it’s 92% complete crap but that other 8% is some seriously good shit. got myself some salon quality shampoo and conditioner for $3 a bottle, a new hallway rug to replace the one that my prednisoned-out dog peed on humpteen times last week (BEST place for kid/dog using rugs, btw), two new oral-b toothbrushes for $1 each and a seriously “off the back of the truck” nalgene bottle for $2.50.
is it just me or do you walk around that place and feel like most of the “goods” were scored illegally? i find myself slinking out to the parking lot and inconspicuously sliding into my car. like as soon i start the engine cruisers are going to surround me with guns drawn and bark loud, scary commands through a megaphone.
well, whatever. my hair is silky smooth today. and all for only $6.
happy wednesday to you and don’t you dare name your kid harper. seriously.
Wednesday, June 9th, 2010, 4:00 pm | 
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June 9, 2010 at 7:03 pm
this tooootally cracked me up! so familiar. i find myself avoiding pregnant women left and right…. worst part is, *i* heard my daughter’s name from someone else well before i was pregnant and fell in love with it, and when i said it to craig, he said, “that’s THE ONE!” so it sealed the deal. (of course we did the whole name list at the hospital with a big ol’ star beside THE ONE, but some other options, etc.) so i am a hypocrite to try to avoid telling other preggos (or i know all too well what can happen, perhaps??) craig thinks i’m crazy because it’s not like you can hide someone’s name their whole life. to further your nausea, i know one pregnant woman here wanting the name harper for her little girl on the way, and another elsewhere possibly wanting to name her little boy harper. so, the verdict is: you sure know how to name a baby, hannah!
June 10, 2010 at 8:10 am
ugh. don’t tell me about any more harpers en route! aghhh!
i remember you told me about your discovery of *nutella’s* name (we’ll just use code so not to give anyone any ideas!) a long while ago. you knew it was the one – and it SO was – and is!
and thanks, jen, for always commenting on my posts – you are so thoughtful and supportive
xo
June 10, 2010 at 8:12 am
oh, and in case you like one of the posts here but don’t do the whole commenting thing go ahead and click the little red heart to “like”!
June 10, 2010 at 10:36 am
Can I just tell you how excited I am to hear that someone else adores Ocean State Job Lot???? I thought it was just my family. My parents live in Peterborough now and there’s one down the road from them. I swear sometimes I visit them just for an excuse to hit up Ocean State. And they go so often they came up with the code name (“the boutique”) so they don’t have to admit to going ALL the time.
Oh, and if it helps, your Harper is the only one I’ve heard of
June 10, 2010 at 8:02 pm
i love the boutique! that’s just plain awesome.
glad to know there are other ocean staters out there – thanks jill!
June 10, 2010 at 9:40 pm
i wish i knew what this ocean state thing was! sounds fab… in a sketchy kind of way.
June 10, 2010 at 9:40 pm
p.s. – little lady is deathly allergic to nutella.
June 11, 2010 at 9:27 pm
You crack me up! I LOVE Ocean State. My mom and I would go there weekly…if my husband didn’t mind the $80 receipt lying on the kitchen counter every Saturday afternoon. I too buy by shampoo/conditioner, lip gloss, tupperware, hallway rugs and TOYS. Have you checked out the toy section? It’s CRAZY good. Not to mention the holiday section. Wrapping paper, bags, cute boxes. Don’t even get me started!!!
Oh, and I am dreading the day I hear of another girl named Carys, because I know they will have stolen it from me. ha!
June 11, 2010 at 9:37 pm
Hey Hannah
Great blog!! Harper is unique despite her name. And I would have done the same thing (After I asked her pointedly “Why do you want to know?”)
And I am cracking up that BOOBS in your cloud tag box is almost as big as Harper, Jax and Justin, LOL!!!
June 16, 2010 at 9:51 am
Umm..heard on the radio today that Tiffany Amber Thiessen named her baby girl Harper…
/
Damn it………….
June 16, 2010 at 9:52 am
PS that face is not supposed to look like that..it was supposed to be an “awkward” face not a super excited face…WTF!
June 18, 2010 at 2:52 pm
ha! yes…that sounds about right – seeing as how boobs have been an equal part of any ongoings the last two years!!